Unconditional
Relationship therapy
G’day! I'm Jacob, a relationship consultant who excels at untangling difficult interpersonal dynamics by facilitating productive communication.
I've helped hundreds of families and couples to rebuild relationships and support mutual growth.I offer my service ss("pay-on-results")mm(and "pay-as-you-feel")ee because great relationships should be accessible for everyone.
"To love is to regard the other as the self"
What is Unconditional?
Unconditional is a pay-on-results relationship therapy service.“Unconditional” references the work of humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers, who pioneered client-centred therapy and posited ‘unconditional positive regard’ as its cornerstone.The name reflects my belief that love is unconditional (although relationships are conditional).It also reflects my commitment to give my service unconditionally through my 'pay-as-you-feel' business model.
Background
My work draws on years of taking wonderfully fulfilling calls on a helpline for family issues, intertwined with broad and voracious reading, a wealth of personal relationship experience, and other work consulting on relationship issues. My study of psychology and philosophy at The University of Melbourne has only a minor influence on my practise.
My inspiration
People whose work influences my own approach include:
Carl Rogers, Marshal Rosenberg, Viktor Frankl, Abraham Maslow, Esther Perel, Irvin D. Yalom, Terrence Real, Scott Peck, Bessel van der Kolk, Gabor Maté, Daniel Kahneman, Daniel Goleman, ss(and many others.)mm(whose works are less directly related to therapy/psychology)ee
My philosophy
I believe that relationships are central in determining the quality of our life. Such significance underscores the importance that we navigate their inevitable challenges successfully.
Our unique upbringing conditions the way we relate to others. In lieu of a robust education, relationship strategies are largely learned through trial and error. These can suit our formative circumstances, but ss(‘communicative baggage’)mm(e.g. unconscious assumptions,
or ineffective communication habits)ee causes conflict later while it remains unconscious. As our circumstances evolve, so too must our relationship strategies. I guide people through interpersonal challenges to restore the relationships that are central to a fulfilling life.
When relationships are great, they serve as a foundation for mutual growth and facilitate each person’s ss(self-actualisation)mm(as depicted in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs)ee.It’s my mission to help people cut through communicative baggage and empower relationships to serve as that foundation.
“In my early professional years I was asking the question:
How can I treat, or cure, or change this person?Now I would phrase the question in this way:
How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for their own personal growth?” - Carl Rogers
The process
You'll be emailed two brief forms which allow our sessions to be focused from the beginning.
The induction form lets you introduce yourself, specify your relationship goal and propose ss(the bounty)mm(how much you agree to pay
when/if you reach that goal)ee.The preferences form gathers your therapeutic preferences to tailor the session to your needs.
I’ll review the forms and give you a brief preliminary call to confirm details, answer questions and set expectations.
We’ll have our booked phone appointment where we begin to address your relationship challenges.
Over the following weeks, we will collaborate until either your goal is achieved and bounty paid, or we discontinue with ss(no/partial)mm(your choice)ee payment.
“The more we trust, the farther we are able to venture.” - Esther Perel
Pay on results
I have no desire to charge hourly for poor service, so I don't.
My pricing is entirely client-centered:
You share what results you seek + specify bounty if achieved.We work together intensively & you apply learnings in your relationship.Pay when you feel satisfied — no results, no charge.This aligns our incentives in stark contrast with typical 'pay-by-the-hour' relationship therapy. If I'm not confident I can solve your relationship problem, I'll swiftly refer you.
I won't waste your time/money.
This aligns our incentives in stark contrast with typical 'pay-by-the-hour' relationship therapy. If I'm not confident I can solve your relationship problem, I'll swiftly refer you.
I won't waste your time/money.
"If there were a magic button to revitalise your relationship, how much would you happily pay to press it?"
Referral bonus: 5% when you refer someone who achieves desired results.
"Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth" - Scott Peck
“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” - Marshall Rosenberg
Limitations
I don't make diagnoses.
I don't offer formal treatment for personal mental health issues or crises.I just surgically and confidentially help you to relate better with the people close to you.If you're looking for a diagnosis, or require treatment to support specific mental health needs, please try Find A Psychologist or Psychology Today.
Frequently Asked Questions
If they share your enthusiasm for working through what you’re finding challenging, then their presence can be really helpful.
However if schedules or willingness complicate things, then we can still be incredibly productive individually (in fact, I recommend calling solo for the first session!).
We’ll discuss strategies that will help create the space for reconnection and growth regardless of where you’re each starting from.
If unsure, book a free enquiry call.
Prepare a setting where you can relax and talk freely.
For many people that’s in the comfort of their home, for others, it’s out on a stroll in nature (perhaps a bit less private, but that’s up to you).Allow some time afterwards to quietly reflect on what we’ve discussed.
There are 2 main reasons:
Connection
Helpline policy discourages personal connections. So when a caller would say “I’d like to check in with you after I try what we’ve discussed”, we’re pushed to encourage them to accept that their next call will likely be with someone else. It’s still an incredible service. Sometimes a one-off call for a quick-fix is enough. However while I appreciate the requirements of that business model, it’s more impersonal than I’d like. I want to offer a deeper, more stable connection which caters to broader needs of clients and feels more fulfilling for me.
Flexibility
I want to work my own hours. Although in the short-term I’ve opened my calendar up, I intend to limit availability when I have a better gauge of demand
A therapist is a person whose role is to facilitate authenticity, empathy, and insight.
Ideally, all relationships can be therapeutic. However, social dynamics often stifle authenticity and obstruct empathy.
The confidentiality of our therapeutic relationship means you can freely express yourself without the fear of gossip that’s inherent in traditional relationships. You have the space to think out loud, and to receive insight from a non-judgemental mind that is on your team.
When you book an appointment with me, it’s dedicated time where we work together toward your relationship goals.
Yes, but not typically for the first session. For subsequent sessions, we may arrange face-to-face. I work out of Brunswick, Melbourne.
“Maturity comes when we tend to our inner children and don’t inflict them on our partners to care for.” - Terrence Real
Contact
“For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does their best.” - Viktor Frankl
Policies
Privacy Statement
Privacy is essential to an effective therapeutic relationship.
I am committed to handling your information responsibly and ensuring you provide informed consent for my practices. I am also open to adjusting this policy to meet your preferences.Default Privacy Policy:
Unless you request modifications, the following will apply:Data Protection: I will never sell any data you provide.
Session Notes:
I may take notes during our sessions to:
- Track important details while you share complex stories.
- Minimize the need to repeat information.
- Maintain a clear understanding of your journey across sessions.
These notes are de-identified, meaning they are not linked to your personal information (e.g., name, contact details).
Professional Development:
I may share de-identified aspects of our sessions with colleagues or mentors to support my professional growth. This will always adhere to the Privacy Act 1988 and avoid any risk of identifying you.
Future Publications:
If I consider including your story in a book or similar project, I will contact you for explicit approval beforehand.
Reassurance: My commitment to confidentiality is unconditional and holds regardless of the outcome from our sessions.
Please use the form below to confirm that you have read the Privacy Policy (above).By clicking 'Accept' without comments, I will assume you have no questions and will not address it during our call.If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to add them in the comment section or bring them up at any point during our sessions.